BORDERS

OK SO I NEED TO CLEAR THE AIR ON A FEW THINGS REGARDING THE NATIONAL SECURITY OF OUR HOME

WHILE IMMIGRATION IS GREAT, HELL, WE’RE A NATION OF IMMIGRANTS THE WHOLE MELTING POT THING ABOUT AMERICA IS A GOOD THING AND I SUPPORT DIVERSITY WE CAN’T JUST LET ANYBODY WHO WANTS TO COME HERE COME HERE WITHOUT AT LEAST SOME LEVEL OF SCRUTINY OTHERWISE WHO KNOWS WHAT COULD HAPPEN

WHO KNOWS! I MEAN IF ALL THESE ALIENS I HEAR ARE COMING FOR US GET HERE AND ARE JUST WAVED IN BY THE BORDER PATROL JUST WAVING THEIR CIRCULAR SILVER CRAFT IN LIKE NOTHING’S WEIRD THEN, WELL, THEN THOSE ALIENS CAN JUST OPEN FIRE WITH THEIR ADVANCED LASER WEAPONRY AND WE WON’T BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT AND THEN WHERE WILL WE BE?

WHERE! WE’LL BE PRETTY SORRY WE DIDN’T HAVE A MORE SECURE BORDER AGAINST ILLEGAL ALIENS WHEN THEY’RE EXPERIMENTING ON OUR COWS AND BLOWING UP MOUNT RUSHMORE WITH PROTON BEAMS WE’LL BE LIKE “OH NO IF ONLY WE HAD ASKED FOR THEIR DOCUMENTATION THEN WE’D BE EATING GOOD OLD AMERICAN BURGERS RIGHT NOW INSTEAD OF THE GRAVEL THAT USED TO BE MOUNT RUSHMORE”

I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS IS A POLITICAL STATEMENT, WE SHOULD KEEP MARAUDING SPACE PIRATES AWAY FROM OUR COWS!

WHY WON’T THE PRESIDENT GET ON TV AND DENOUNCE SPACE PIRATES?!